


Pure Love's Curse

by AnnaCrimson



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, F/M, Falling In Love, Grief, Guilt, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Mild Blood, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25219732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaCrimson/pseuds/AnnaCrimson
Summary: Harry Potter has always loved Hermione Granger. His emotions and heart haven't been afflicted this much by any other girl. Once he's lost everything, she is all that matters to him. He has made a promise to make his return at his seventh year at Hogwarts perfect. A promise he never wanted to break.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 11
Kudos: 22





	Pure Love's Curse

|He felt her shaking hand, tainted from the battle, but still so smooth, so gentle, so caring, caress his skin. He realized she was wiping away the crimson rivulets of blood emitting from the clearly visible, wide gash on his cheek. All the pain that had evaded and tortured him immediately left him, the pain that hovered above him as easily as seemingly dark silhouettes scattered across an everlasting forest. All his negative thoughts were wiped away. Her touch was warm. It was kind. It was breathtaking. Something he hadn't felt before.

He hastily reached his arm across and wrapped it around her waist, bringing her head to his chest, carefully removing her hand from his face, holding it, letting their fingers entwine... Feeling her smooth brunette locks, despite the fact they were tangled and dirty from this unspeakable war, still stunning, spread across his chest. He pulled her into an even tighter embrace. He found everything about her stunning.

He felt his clothes being dampened, she was crying painfully. Her racking sobs reverberated, he could feel the drumming of her heart against his own, her pulse, sense of life, hers no more steadier than his as it had drastically increased. A warm sensation spread across his body at the touch of hers, lingering eternally as he wished they would stay like that forever.|

"..."

For those who had nothing else left clung to the one who was left. The one who had been there from the start. The one who had never left their side. Their true love. The one they would die for willingly. The one they loved with every bit of their soul. The one who held a special place in their heart. The one they would do anything for.

"..."

For nothing else mattered-

"..."  
She was all that mattered,

"..."

Her stunning smile,

"..."  
Her safety,

"..."

Her happiness.

It was one small, sudden moment. Instant. Quick. Hazy from one's point of view. But it was rather illuminating from one's other. Complicated. Compulsive.

Despite the rather serious events concerning his life, Harry was most eager for something very particular. He was going back to Hogwarts for his seventh year, for he and his friends had missed it due to complications.

This is it, thought Harry. He was finally going to live his life. With no weight on his shoulders pressuring him down. No psychotic maniac known as a Dark Lord possessing abnormal amounts of powers was around with the desire to kill him. He was going to cleanse his mind of the past. He was going to have a normal year at Hogwarts. He was going to be happy. He was overexcited. The happiest moment in his life wasn't even real. It was when he saw his family in the Mirror of Erised. He longed desperately for such family. And he was hopefully going to receive it along the side of a certain girl…

Harry shook his head. He had to let things flow slowly. Play it cool. Yet he couldn't shake the beam on his face away. If only his family and Sirius, Remus and everybody else could see him. He was a new and changed man. He had spent too much time mourning over them, blaming himself for something he thought to have influenced, for their untimely deaths… That their reason of death was to protect him. He knew they wouldn't like to see him weeping because they had sacrificed their lives for him, or else their efforts would be evaded by Harry, for they died so that he and everybody else would lead happy lives. And, all in good time, Harry would join them soon… So he had to make the best out of his life. No more grief and anguish this time. The battle of Hogwarts was over and he would be returning to the school for his seventh year.

This was his time. The happiest year of his life.

She beamed at him from the other side of the table opposite him. Harry beamed back.

*His nose was nuzzled against hers. She was looking at him with eyes, eyes filled with loving, to know he caused her this much happiness… Her smooth skin pressed against his own, she clutched his heart, feeling for his pulse, brushed his fringe with a finger, revealing his scar farther. She kissed it, and they entwined hands again. He freed his hand from hers and grasped her chin softly, pulling her just a bit closer than she already was, now able to observe every small detail and feature she possessed, miniature tears of happiness clinging to her long eyelashes …*

They both stared at each other tentatively until Ron averted their gaze, putting his arm across Hermione's shoulders.

"N.E.W.T students, guys! Isn't it exciting?"- Ron grinned and looked at both of them. Hermione shyly nodded her head, bit her lip, brushing a lock of hair from her face. Ron tightened his grip on her shoulder and grabbed hold of her arm, Hermione's face reddening at the touch.

Harry felt his heart twinge at the sight and prevented himself from clutching it, feeling as though a cold sword plunged through it at the mere vision. Hermione noticed Harry's tense expression as he finally did clutch his heart from the overwhelming pain, and looked at him with concern in her eyes.

"Harry?"- Hermione asked with a slightly high-pitched voice when they left the Great Hall, heading to Gryffindor Tower along with Ron. Many students waved and smiled at them during the process, Harry ignoring everyone, even the girly giggles coming his way. Every sound for him was muffled.

"Are you okay mate?"- Ron asked him, patting Harry on the back. Harry nodded with recognition, not really paying attention to what they were saying, his eyes were slightly glazed over and his head was hung low, but not too low as his glasses would slip and break at the collision with the floor...

Ron shrugged at Hermione as she looked at Harry again, with that apprehensive look on her face. Harry avoided their gaze as they entered through the Fat Lady's portrait after Ron had muttered the password.

He was simply overthinking again. It was simply but a mere small gesture. A gesture from any normal friend. He had done the same to Ginny and Luna even.

/They hadn't reddened at your touch. They didn't acknowledge it as much as she did when he did it to her. They weren't as embarrassed and suddenly soothed as she was./

Besides, he was planning on telling Hermione his true feelings… soon. He was going to tell her just how much he loved her, plucking up his Gryffindor courage. He wouldn't let himself mess this particular year at Hogwarts.

/Since when did you not mess anything up in your life?/

He wouldn't skulk. He wouldn't avoid following his tactics. He had made a promise to himself to make up for everything that happened in his life and he wouldn't want to fail himself and everybody that he had… lost. He was going to have a perfect year at Hogwarts.

/There's no chance at one perfect year in your life./

Harry's heart sank as the sly voice made another remark. He wasn't going to break his promise and he was going to fight with strength.

/You're never strong enough. If you were, then everybody else would be here with you./

Harry tensed as the voice hit his soft spot.

Harry arranged his bed and settled in, rummaging in his trunk for his pajamas. He heard every other boy in the dormitory talking heartily about Quidditch and their holidays. Harry avoided their gaze and pretended he couldn't hear them. The last thing he wanted was to get involved and talk about something he wasn't interested in any more. He finally dressed in his pajamas and climbed onto bed as the others continued talking on the other side of the room. He simply gazed up at the ceiling unblinkingly, having taken off his glasses before and placed them at his nightstand, his vision blurry. He hastily put them back on and steadied himself, glancing at the window next to his four-poster bed, wondering if he was the only one still awake, for it was a habit of his to stare into the dreamy night and putting his thoughts into focus…

Love is but a fickle thing… Pure love is everlasting. Once you feel the tension between each other you devote your life to the opposing one. They are all that matters to you.

Hermione sat in bed, twirling a beautiful little necklace in her fingers, heart dangling from it, two initials craved in. She beamed and sighed, gently caressing the soft spot on her chest where the heart was positioned. Her face was flushed in a light pink tint. She glanced at the window next to her four-poster bed. Beautiful moon… Beautiful stars. She could spot enchanting constellations. Many of them she had learnt in Astronomy.

The bushy-haired girl put the necklace around her neck, playing with the chain a few moments, in the meantime tying her hair into a messy braid and placing it over one of her slender shoulders, illuminated from the moon. It was a full moon… Hermione blinked away a tear as she thought of one of her favorite professors. She assured herself it was all in the past… He would want the best for her and she would join him some day in due time. Now she had to focus on the present. She smiled yet again, clutching the necklace. She loved him. Words couldn't explain it. She cared for him and she had to be there for him.

For she knew she always had to be there for him and love him. Or else he would hurt too much.

For he loved her so much it hurt.

Every cold glare was like a sword piercing through his heart. Every unfriendly sneer shriveled his heart. Every snide comment was like ice daggers stabbing his heart in turn. Her denial… He wouldn't want to experience it... For he had experienced everything else unnoticing. It was small gestures that dangled him. That played with him in such a way. That carved his heart brutally. Nobody would look constantly at the other's features when talking to them, getting lost in those eyes… Searching their expression. Noticing each and every slight tone of disappointment or hate. He loved her so much that it hurt and he couldn't deny it anymore. He never could. She was all that mattered to him. She was his past, present and future.

Seeing him hurt made her pitiful. Seeing him in pain brought pain to her as well. Seeing her reflection in those eyes, those loving eyes, she felt she finally had someone that loved her and she wouldn't hurt him. For no one had showed such immense interest in her before. And she didn't expect it from her best friend at that. Ever since the small signs he had showed, she wanted to invest more time paying attention to him. To his expression. Longing to see that same twinkle and adoring appreciation. She did find it. She just didn't feel the same. She wanted to feel the same. So she stayed and cared for him. Soothing words of comfort to him, to feel his touch. She felt nothing at his touch, but she knew that he felt it. The burning passion rushing through his veins. She wouldn't dare ruin that… No matter what…

…

He rushed down quickly towards the secluded corridor, glancing around superstitiously, making sure nobody was in sight. His heart fluttered excitedly as he stopped in the spot he had told her to meet him. His head was throbbing and he felt his heart drumming against his chest even faster. He was comprehensive, fearful, excited. Then he spot her. The slender figure with bushy brown hair and golden sparkling eyes.

"Ha-"

Before the young female Gryffindor could finish her sentence, Harry adoringly cupped her face, staring at those magnificent eyes, still confused… Before he could realize what he was doing, he slowly swooped in for a kiss…. He felt her soft lips touch against his own, they both closed their eyes and wrapped their hands around each other's necks. Harry was in Heaven right now, caressing a beautiful angel, the love of his life- Harry's heart beat even faster if it were possible, he hadn't felt this joyous ever before in his entire life-

Hermione painfully pushed him back against the wall, panting heavily, a disappointed look on her face. She looked at him piercingly in the eyes, his eyes were kind and hopeful, and hers were slowly filling up with rage.

Harry lightly smiled at her, but his smile turned into a frown when he noticed the expression on Hermione's face. She was fuming with rage at the moment.

"Harry- how could you-"

Harry's heart stung when he saw the disappointment in her eyes. He thought she had enjoyed it, he even felt it in himself, the burning passionate flame, maybe he was rushing through things too fast?

Before he could make an enquiry however, Hermione forcefully slapped him on the face.

"Ron and I- we are dating!"

Harry disbelievingly stared at her as he held a hand up to his face to stop the stinging pain. The red hand-print stood out on his gaunt, ghostly pale face baring a blank expression. He felt as though he had stopped breathing. And when realization hit him and her returned to reality, he felt it in his chest. His heart breaking in a million pieces. The fluttering sensation left him. The warmth escaped through him. Coldness sprouted inside him. A deep, deep pain…

"While you were busy being fawned at by so many fangirls, Ron confessed to me a year ago. And he loves me. I-I love him too. Harry you are my best friend. While I care for you I never l-loved you like that, Harry. I've always loved R-Ron. I have to admit I did have a pathetic, stupid teenage crush on you, being the boy who lived… but that's all that it has ever been! "- Hermione said with a slight tinge of regret hidden from the rage in her voice, furiously dabbing at her eyes and trying to hide her face from Harry, though unnoticed by Harry as he was still standing motionless on the spot, staring into space.

She had accused him of playing around with girls. While for many years the only person he has loved was her. He couldn't believe it. She didn't love him. Hermione didn't love him. She looked hurt when he tried to show her how much he loved her. And she has never loved him. All those times she had been on his side it was merely because of his fame. Was she only using him? Being the "Boy-Who-Lived"? At least it sounded that way.

She showed him she didn't want him anymore. She said it to his face. She told him she has never loved him. And now she most likely doesn't want to be friends. At this point he didn't believe she ever actually cared for him. But he cared for her. He loved her. He wanted her to himself. But he didn't want her to himself as much as he wanted her to be happy. Knowing he didn't make Hermione happy, Harry thought she was better off without him. Although he wanted to make her happy. Although he wanted to comfort her. He wanted to feel her soothing touch. He wanted to have a perfect life with her. But her life and happiness mattered more than his. He was being selfish… Ron deserved it… He didn't deserve Hermione if he made her hurt… He didn't deserve Hermione if she only thought he was just a pathetic and stupid teenage crush.

Harry forced a slight smile on his face when Hermione looked up with him, a glint of rage and hatred in those eyes. He was trying with all his force to prevent tears streaming down his face and obscuring his vision.

"I-I understand Hermione…"

Hermione turned around for a second, clutching her chest with a look of disbelief on her face. With a very sudden twinge of sadness in her eyes, she turned around and reached her hand out to touch Harry's shoulder, but she had grasped at nothingness.

…For love is regarded as a one-time thing, when you merely think the other doesn't care, you stop caring too… Pure love never leaves the soul, for it lingers onto eternity, as if it were destiny all along. Pure loved possesses ability in developing excruciating pain.

Every touch. Every embrace. Every smile. Every warm approach. Every conversation. Each and every soothing word to come out of her mouth. Every adoring gaze. Every glitter in those eyes.

It all replayed in Harry's head as he was admiringly, but with that lost and lone expression on his face, staring up at the night sky from the position he was in the Astronomy Tower.

Every piercing gaze. Every cold tone. Every disappointed look on her face. Every snide remark. Each and every time she had pushed him aside. For Ron. How hadn't he spot it before? Was he too blinded by his own love? Hermione has always loved Ron and she had admitted it. Everything he had with her meant nothing to her. She didn't care about anything they've experienced together. Everything they've experienced together, which had meant the world to Harry. She just shoved it away. He should've noticed the countless times that she pushed him aside for Ron. It made his broken heart ache even more.

Then he thought of them. His parents. Sirius… They had loved him such an immense amount. And they were taken away from him so brutally. He thought that Hermione would always be by his side, no matter what, after all this time… He thought it had meant something to her.

Why is it… The girl I've devoted my life and happiness to… My love… Given her my heart, had so carelessly thrown it all away. Shredded my heart to pieces as if it didn't matter. For my best friend. Her heart belonged to my best friend. Said friend who has everything I've ever wished for. A caring family. Countless of friends. The girl of my dreams. Why is it that I'm ALWAYS left alone in the end, even though I've sacrificed my life multiple times, destroyed Voldemort and protected everyone, loved them so much, DAMN IT! Now that I've defeated him I have nothing to live for. I was even supposed to die for them at the end, for the greater good. Now I wish I had. I would be with the people who love me. Nobody here loves me.

He hadn't experienced it often… Self-pity. But he had had enough. He didn't care anymore. He focused his care and love on Hermione and everyone else way too much and didn't think a bit for himself. At this point he didn't even love himself, he thought, as he put his arm in his pocket and fiddled for the two objects inside. He sat on the cold stone floor, pulling his invisibility cloak over himself and clinging onto it tightly if anybody noticed his disappearance and tried looking for him, brought his knees to his chest and gently hid his face in them. He had never cried so much before. Racking sobs reverberated his body, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and onto his trousers, his face moistened and clothes dampened. Curled up, all alone, with nobody to comfort him. Nobody cared where he was. Nobody was looking for him. Nobody wanted him. Hermione was now probably glad to have finally gotten rid of him, a thorn in her back, and was merrily snogging with Ron, laughing about everything. All the barricaded emotions that he had built up during 17 years of living in the life he considered Hell had finally released.

/So weak, Potter. So vulnerable.../

"…"

/Nobody wants you here anymore./

"…"

/You have already fulfilled your purpose in life. You're supposed to be proud. Protecting the ones you love. Letting them be happy. Ron deserves it more than you. Hermione loves him more. Not you./

"…"

/You are more alike with me than you know. Never having anybody to cling to. To care about you. To love you. They all died for you specifically. You deserve this./

"…"

/The only difference is that I was stronger. I didn't bend down like the weak. I didn't devote my life to loving some filthy mudblood to then be rejected by her for my best friend. I didn't let anybody crush my heart to dust. I was beyond such weak, stupid pain. I've never known or cared about love. Friends or lovers. What matters most is power, Potter. Ultimate leadership. Eliminating those inferior to you. You've had the chance to grasp it so many times, yet you let it slip away. I know you more than you could ever imagine. You have true potential. Which shall now be wasted./

"…"

/Love can be foolish, Potter. Love is nothing or everything. Love shall bend you. Change you. Derange you.

"…"

*His head warm against her lap, she was lovingly stroking his midnight locks, her gaze falling upon his immensely handsome face. A great wave of butterflies fluttered in her stomach, her heart pounding fiercely like a lioness. This warm sensation, pleasant, urging temptation.

He sat up suddenly and wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her into a tight embrace that nearly knocked her flat, she wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head on his shoulder, and she had done something she'd never done before. She kissed him on the cheek.*

|…Hermione lay sobbing in bed, still in her turquoise silk gown, her hair tangled and laying messily beneath her. It was rather stupid… But she had taken it seriously and with deep hurt. All this time she spent daydreaming about him, he wouldn't even look at her, let alone think of her in a romantic way. When she asked him who he was planning to ask for the Yule Ball, he merely turned away and shrugged, scratching his neck. His face probably red with embarrassment, she thought… Embarrassment of talking to her, bushy-haired nerd, in the middle of the Great Hall where he would be spotted by Cho Chang or other beautiful girls she knew he had a crush on. When Viktor Krum asked her, she snatched the opportunity, dressing up all gorgeous as one of the champion's dates. Surely he would notice her then, and be jealous… She only ever got one glance from him that night. One glance, when she had been styling her hair for hours. He merely widely smiled at her, which played with her a lot, and made her heart flutter but… nothing more had he done to her…! Not even a request for a dance, or holding her hand. She was frustrated. Then he stormed from the Yule Ball without even acknowledging his own date.|

A deep, passionate, romantic kiss. She lovingly wrapped her hands around his neck, pushing his warm, strong body closer against her own. She delved deeper and deeper into the kiss, exploring his mouth, smoothly rubbing his neck. With her other arm, she roughly, continuously ruffled his hair as they continued the kiss. She felt his warm, gentle grip around her waist, careful with her body, his other hand on her blouse, fiddling with the fabric and the top of it. She hadn't ever been this joyous in her entire life. With this particular boy. This boy she couldn't push out of her mind, ever since he had saved her from the troll in their first year. A hot surge of anger streamed through her. The boy who hadn't shown her a sign. Every night she spent in her bed crying, begging for him to notice her. And now he does something. When she clearly loved… Ron. And Ron loved her. She wouldn't sacrifice the love she had finally obtained, the acknowledgment of a boy, for this selfish prick. Pouncing around with other girls while she- she pleaded for him to even look at her directly in the eyes. No signs. Her anger overcome her desire to continue this passionate moment, and she purposefully roughly pushed him against the wall, rage steaming.

After her outburst she felt fulfilled. Complete. That would show him. All the hate fully streaming from her body and surging through her veins still showing. She laughed a little inside her head. The boy who had caused her so much pain, who she couldn't simply tolerate toying with her anymore. That now, since he had no other option left, she thought, after all those failed attempts with other girls, she herself had found her own love. Words she hadn't used before had poured out of her moments before, to express the agony of her love life.

…She noticed Harry's face. A look of despair clearly etched on it. Her heart ached at the sight, she could tell anything from his gaze at this moment.

"I-I understand Hermione…"

She noticed the forced smile, and sadly glared at the red hand imprint on his face. Now everything was clear. She saw every emotion coursing through his veins clearly. Felt it. As if there was a bond between them. Her body was in a flurry of emotions. So painful. So tormenting. Was this how he had always felt? She felt like a burden. Alone. Unloved.

"No, Hermione. I don't think you're ugly. You're beautiful, and smart…"- he trailed off, giving her an ecstatic smile, a glint in his eyes.

"You're brilliant."

"Hermione, I was wondering if I could talk to y-"

Hermione interrupted him as she giggled. She grudgingly yet excitedly showed him the love note (invitation) she had received from Viktor Krum for the Yule Ball, hoping he would rave in jealousy and finally acknowledge her, notice her as a girl for once.

She then noticed the slight frown on his face, his eyes glazing over.

"That's perfect Hermione… I'm glad you're happy."

Again. The forced smile.

Viktor's hand in hers, she quickly glanced around the Great Hall to see him. She then noticed him storming through the hall and brushing right past her, though she couldn't spot it, sleeves hiding his face, trying to hide his emotions.

Holding hands with Ron, snuggling with him. She felt nothing.

But as she even shared a glance with Harry, she felt as if she was in Heaven… Looking into those stunning emerald orbs, flurrying with joy she hadn't noticed before.

Then she looked over at Ron and blushed furiously, who was hugging her tightly, not noticing Harry hang his head low, his eyes devoid of emotion, putting a hand to his forehead.

Her romantic relationship with Ron having started, she tried to forget the boy who had caused her such lovely daydreams. Who she had sobbed over. Spending more and more time with Ron.

"Hermione, I was maybe, wondering if I could-"

"Sorry, Harry, I have to study tonight and can't waste any more time. Studying is really important to me right now, I have to practice for tomorrow, you would understand."- she said gently, smiling up at him.

"Yeah, I suppose I would…"

"Maybe if you had a bloody shred of self-respect, you'd hand that book in and stop being an egotistical jerk!"

"I was being selfish, I know. I'll stop using it."

She didn't know, as she was unconscious, but he was always kneeling next to her, caressing her skin, wishing for her to come back to him. Begging for her to open her eyes. In the Hospital Wing. In the Department of Mysteries.

Her crying shoulder whenever she felt helpless.

How he smiled

How he wrapped his hands around her

How he kissed her right now… And she shoved him away.

No. I can't take it anymore… It's too much…!

She instantaneously aimed to grasp his shoulder, to resume the kiss, but he had now disappeared from sight. Fresh tears rolled down her cheek, she collapsed onto the floor, hands on her face, not caring if anybody spot her. Before her stupid act, showing him Krum's note, before even trying to hear what he had to say, she had completely missed the hopeful glitter in his eyes, and cried as she thought of the happy outcome she could've had. How deeply hurt he was when she ignored him, showing physical interaction with Ron right in front of him. Studying? She didn't even let him finish his sentence, again? Had she unknowingly directly told him that studying was more important than him? Than that one sentence he so desperately wanted to tell her for a quick moment? And the book? Had she, in a fit of jealous rage, unknowingly told Harry that her being top of the class was more important than him? What pain had she caused him? After he was always there to protect her, to shield her from the dark, to pay her such compliments, to comfort her… And he still loved her, and tried to show her… After everything! And yet she still shoved him away! Because she always thought that the boy of her dreams would never dare even think of something such as this, let alone… Because she didn't want to hurt Ron, she knew he didn't deserve it, he loved her so much. She didn't return the feelings… Her feelings, wrapped tightly across her heart, were deep within. Her heart belonged to Harry. She hadn't, however, realized the immense pain and hurt she had caused Harry himself throughout the years. Why was she so stupid? The day she was longing for, which she had never expected to happened, she acted in such an irrational way. Knowing Harry had suffered a lot, after the war especially, after he didn't have anybody left for him… He was so happy when she simply looked him in the eyes and they kissed, and then she shoved him away…

How?

Why?

She had rejected him in the most painful way. She had to make it up to him. If he could even bare to look at her anymore, the way she just brutally treated him… The way she had treated him before without even noticing. She didn't deserve him. She clearly didn't. She still felt everything he felt coursing through her body. As if demons had possessed her and decided to torture her in the worst unimaginable way.

She felt all the emotions surging through her, an emptiness in her chest, piercing daggers stabbing at her heart, her head burning relentlessly in merciless pain. Her eyes went blank. Flashes of… unexplainable emotional expeditions. She clutched at her heart. It was hard to breathe as her sobbing only increased.

She reluctantly got up quickly, dazed, too tired, stars sparkling and hazing her vision. But she fought back, wiping her sleeves across her cheeks. She had to be strong. For him. Like how he had been for her. She had to find him now.

"Harry… Why have you hidden yourself away from me for too LONG… Why did you hide this from me… Have you always shut down your emotions like this?"

She was running through corridors, not caring if she had been spot and given detention.

/He was trying to show you all this time, and when he finally had the chance after you let him do what he wanted to do without cutting him off for once, you shoved him away yet again. Good way to go, Granger./

He clutched it tightly in his hand, holding it against his chest. The shard dug deep into the flesh of his palm, blood now oozing and cascading in crimson rivulets from the inflicted cut as he held it too tight, not willing to let go of it, feeling too numb and tired to notice the pain. In his other hand was the piece of paper that had been attached to the shard mere seconds before. The note was now drenched in tears and crumpled in his hand. He had long ago stopped crying, however tear tracks would still be visible on his face, he didn't bother wiping them away as nobody would see him either way. He was still sitting under his invisibility cloak in the same corner, back pressed hard against the wall. He suddenly came to realization after holding the sharp object for too long, gasped in pain and dropped it along with the piece of paper, finding a huge gash on his palm. He hugged his knees, attempting to ease the blood loss, and pressed his chin against them, gazing up at the beautiful, dark night sky ahead of him. So aspiring and stunning. The stars twinkled merrily at him and he let a faint smile slip on his face. He remembered coming here countless of times whenever he wanted to be alone and let his thoughts run free. He always loved just gazing up at the sky, forgetting all his worries. He discovered it after… Sirius died… And after finding out about the prophecy from Dumbledore. He felt almost normal when he just seemed to lose his mind while gazing up at the stars. He would feel accepted. Not like a tainted man. It was as if he belonged up with the stars himself. Reluctantly his eyes began tearing up again, knowing what he truly wanted right now.

He didn't know how long he had stayed up there, didn't really care. It was obviously way past curfew. He didn't care. He wanted to stay hidden under the cloak and go over his thoughts.

What was everyone going to think of him now, in this state? Cedric, Remus, Tonks, Fred… His parents… Sirius… Everyone else. He assured himself this was going to be his happiest year, promised even. He failed them. He failed himself.

He gritted his teeth to stifle a laugh. The voice was right. It was always right. The voice which had plagued him for as long as he could remember. Taunting, mocking. He always did mess everything up in the end. Now he even messed up the slight chance of friendship with Hermione he had left.

Harry suppressed another sob. Hermione. No. He didn't want to think of her anymore. The only thing it did was worsen his pain and hurt him even more. He swore he had imagined it, since it was impossible now the horcrux inside him was destroyed, but he felt his scar prickle whenever he thought of her tonight.

A wisp of wind brushed against him, disarranging his cloak slightly enough for his arm to be revealed, but he swiftly brought it back upon himself.

Not that it would matter anyways. Everybody is sleeping right now. Better safe than sorry though.

How long exactly was he going to stay here? If he went back tomorrow like usual, to resume his classes, he would have to see Hermione again. He wouldn't bare that. He couldn't face her without feeling this sharp pain in his chest. It was always present after she had rejected him, stinging, burning, aching, it was bad enough right now. It was actually often present ever since he started developing feelings for her all those years ago… Since most of his thoughts revolved around her. Since he could feel what Hermione was feeling. Since he could tell anything from her expression. But now the pain in his chest was persistent. He couldn't imagine what he would feel if he were to see her and if she were to fix him with that cold glare again.

It takes a great toll on people to find out the person they love more than anything they've ever known don't give a damn about them.

What exactly was he going to do? He had the endeavor of becoming an Auror… He wanted to believe he still had it. The fact was, however, he simply wasn't motivated enough to get up from the floor, reveal himself to the World again, let alone pursue his dream career. It seemed as though every desire he once had faded away from him. He sighed, tugging at the collar of his shirt and lifting his chin up a little before resuming the same position as before, burying his face in his knees.

His perfect year…

He let that sink in. He had promised himself, this year was going to be the perfect year. He had assured himself. He had promised not only himself, but also…

Harry strained his ears. He could hear footsteps going up the stairs towards the Astronomy Tower, whoever it was, he could also hear them panting. He instinctively gripped his cloak, assuring himself that it was still over him, that he was still obscured. Who would come at such a late time? Hopefully he wouldn't have to witness something unpleasant. The Astronomy Tower, the highest point in the castle, and for somebody to come here so late at night, it wasn't considered good news. He could hear the person, it was a female voice, muttering something under her breath.

"H-Harry…. Where is he…"

He was petrified. He clearly recognized that voice. The female was now clear in view after ascending to the Tower. Her bushy hair was even more tangled than usual, spread across the back of her slender figure. Her eyes were dull and blood-shot. Even-though she wasn't at her best Harry couldn't help to gape at her and let all the thoughts that had consumed him slip away. How he longed to grasp her, dominate her, make her his… How he ever so longed for their bodies to collide, to coil around each-other… He stared at her, her magnificent beauty, the features of a goddess. His heart was pulsating rhythmically, then it ignited a stabbing pain in his chest. He resumed his previous state which was a few moments ago whisked away by the female.

Harry swiftly turned his head to the side, glancing up at the window closest to him, examining the stars and moon once more. He couldn't look at her now, not in this state. Why was she up here, looking for him, anyways? Did she want to remind him how much she hated him with another shouting match?

He could hear her footsteps getting nearer, then he heard a gasp. Before he could do anything, Hermione pulled the invisibility cloak off of him. Fear dawned upon him, and he pressed his back harder against the wall, not daring to move or look her direction. She kneeled and gently tapped him on the shoulder but he kept still.

Hermione grasped his chin and softly turned his face slightly so as to face the front. Shivers went up his spine at her soft touch.

"Harry, look at me, please…"

No

"Harry, please… Look at me…"

He knew why she was here

"Harry, please! I need to talk to you!"- she nudged his chest and he flinched at the sudden movement.

"It's fine Hermione. You can go snuggle with Ron. You don't need to waste your time on me anymore."- Harry gently pressed his chin on his knees again and looked her in the eyes. Those eyes once filled with compassion, twinkles and golden glitter. His heart broke for what would be the second time this night. The eyes bestowed pity. Not love. Or caring. Or tenderness. Pity. An emotion that could be shared between two mere strangers. He couldn't feel a spark anymore, or a connection. Not something special it seemed. It didn't feel as if she really cared. He realized she could see his face and wiped away his tears with the hems of his sleeves.

She grasped the bloody shard on the floor, stared at it and a few tears streaked her face.

"Your palm, it's injured…"- she made to touch Harry's hand but he pushed her away gently.

"Hermione. Listen to me. You don't need me to darken your world with my tragic life anymore. Really, it's fine. I know you don't really want me or care for me. Go. Back. To. Ron. Don't waste your precious time with someone like… me."

Hermione stifled a sob and looked at Harry longingly. What couldn't he see? All she wanted was to be by his side… To care for him. To love him. To show him how much he mattered to her. Like he had to her. Her heart shattered when she thought of everything he must've went through staying up here for such a long period of time. She had hurt him so much. He hid himself and his emotions from the World. The look on his face when she discovered him. Tear-stained, eyes filled with despair… Harry hadn't cried before… As far as she could remember. Oh, but what would she know? She wasn't there for Harry as much as she was for Ron… Hadn't paid much attention…

"Harry."- She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her chest against his own. No reaction. He stared blankly at the stars above.

"I love you, not Ron."

Harry stifled another laugh.

"Hermione. No need to lie for me. I know how you look at him. Whenever I stare at you from across the Hall, the Library... You two are meant for each-other. It's just now that I've realized it. Maybe it's because I was too blinded by my own desires. Maybe because I was pleading too much for a love I never deserved. I just mess everything up. Don't let the pathetic and stupid teenage crush ruin your happiness."

Hermione leant her head on his shoulder and began sobbing. Hoping that Harry would lovingly stroke her back as he did in the past. Whenever she was upset and they were alone in Gryffindor Tower by the fireplace, and he soothed words of comfort to her, hugged her... Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered those moments. The moments that toyed with her heart, confused her, the moments she thought of and cherished the most. Her skin tingled as she remained in that position, feeling his chest against hers.

Harry's heart internally screamed. Hermione was sobbing, her chest pressed against his. After minutes staying in the same position, an urging temptation made Harry give up the facade and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She tensed up a little at the sudden movement, but let her body be engulfed by Harry's warm and gentle embrace. So caring, so smooth… She pulled her head away from Harry's shoulder and glanced up at Harry's face. She kissed the cheek on which she had previously slapped him, leaving a faint red outline of her lips on the same spot. His face flushed a fierce shade of red, yet he couldn't shake the ominous feeling engulfing him and lurking deep in the depths of his mind.

The dominating lion inside him overtook those thoughts and pounced inside him. They locked eyes together and Harry wrapped both his arms around her waist, letting them slide up and down her torso and the smooth surface of fabric, unknowingly smearing it with crimson blood due to his injured hand. He slightly lifted her blouse so as to wrap his arms around the bare skin of her waist. Hermione's arm coiled around Harry's neck, with a little more strength it would suffocate him. Harry pressed his lips gently on the soft lips of Hermione, as time passed pushing more force into it as his love for her seared. Hermione returned the kiss immediately. The fierce, raging passion and ecstasy was unleashed for the second time this night. Forgetting everything, everyone, Harry's only focus was Hermione. His lips slid smoothly from her lips to her cheek, to her chin, to her neck. Hermione made sounds of joy and squealed as Harry played around with her body, butterflies in her stomach, her heart fluttering as it never had before. She ruffled his hair and lovingly kissed the scar on his forehead.

Harry pushed her down on the stone floor so that he was on top of her. He grabbed her neck as she grabbed his and they both shared another long, deep and passionate kiss. Hermione kissed his neck repeatedly as Harry's hands slithered around her waist.

The two suddenly pulled away from each-other and sat up next to one another, both excessively inhaling and exhaling.

Actions speak louder than words.

Hermione loved him. He felt it. Nothing else would be able to explain this experience. He was screaming in joy from the inside, heat pulsating throughout him after all the snogging.

He looked to his side and spot her gleaming chocolate brown eyes gazing up at him, golden flecks visible in them.

"I love you Hermione."

"I wasn't lying Harry… I do love you."

To hear those few words from her… It made Harry the happiest he's ever felt his entire life. His heart pounded against his chest.

"You've had to suffer so much for me Harry… Because of me… It's not fair."

Harry's World paused.

"Unfair? 'Mione"?

She shouldn't be feeling guilty in the slightest. Guilty for something she had unknowingly done to him. She didn't deserve that pressure. All he wanted was for her to be happy. She shouldn't be feeling the guilt he had felt in the past. The guilt he was feeling now. He knew the pressure and pain it had caused him all these years and he couldn't stand to see the one he loved most having to go through the same thing.

"It would feel balanced, Harry. If I were to prove my love to you. If I were to suffer the same amount of pain as you. If I were to show you exactly how much I love you. This display doesn't fit to show the years and years of love I've had for you."

Harry's heart skipped a beat. He knew where she was heading. The thing he was dreading the most.

"The Lovers' Vow."- She whispered, fear clinging onto her voice. She tilt her head towards the shard with dry blood on it, then she snatched it. Harry couldn't think. He grabbed Hermione's forearm tightly, trying to rid her of the sharp object, but Hermione was determined. She had her wand at the ready, surprising Harry, and conjured a shield between her and him. There was nothing Harry could do.

"Hermione! Are you insane? I won't let you do this! Not for me!"- Harry thrust himself into the wall of the shield hopelessly.

Harry's voice was muffled from Hermione's point of view. He wouldn't understand. She had to show him just how much she loved him. It was as if a demon had possessed her, inclining her towards a certain direction which she wouldn't be able to escape.

She pointed her wand at the shard.

"Engorgio."

The shard grew to an even sharper blade, the reflection of her face on it as she looked down at it. She could still hear Harry trying to break the shield between them.

Hermione threw her robes and sweater to the ground, leaving them in a heap beside her. She then removed her blouse, leaving her only in a black bra. The bushy-haired girl picked up the blade which prickled her finger at first touch. She then smoothly placed it on the soft skin just under her breasts. She carved words onto it, wincing in pain and unknowingly letting out anguished screams every time she brought the blade to her skin. Excessive amounts of blood, her living substance, trickled down her torso and stomach. Her hands were stained crimson, she was feeling dazed. She was being tortured… Abandoned. She was letting out strangled sobs. Someone was twisting her mind, dangling with her as if she were a puppet. The control she had over her body had long gone. Her hand let go of the blade. She glanced up to see those emerald green eyes, mere moments ago filled with life, joy, staring at her in anguished pain, tears were welling up in those eyes as he witnessed the sight. Love was emitting from his features as he hopelessly extended his hand to touch her, to help ease the pain, to hold her living body. His hand was shoved away from the shield, and she managed to harshly whisper one last thing before she was forever engulfed by darkness.

"Harry…"

Harry's world collapsed as he heard the words coming from Hermione's mouth. During his studying, he managed to stumble across a very dark book in the Restricted Section while roaming around with Hermione under his invisibility cloak with her. He was curious and the book intrigued him, so he read it. His memory of a certain page returned as soon as he heard Hermione utter the words.

The Lovers' Vow- A rare and dark, forbidden vow, most cases of which reported in the mid-14th century due to the belief of unfaithful lovers. One would have to carve into their skin with a sharp muggle object as follows:

I vow that I do indeed love…

The more pain they would have to endure in committing the act, the more they love that significant other. If they wouldn't have to endure any pain, they don't love the significant other, their love lies within another. There were a few severe cases discovered, though no reported deaths directly from the vow. Starting from the 15th century, it was long forgotten and strictly forbidden, the very minimalistic amount of victims of the vow were reported to be insane. They would feel tortured constantly and would never be the same. The pain was so overwhelming and unbearable that they had to commit the sin of suicide just to stop it.

The instigator of the vow remains unknown, though the only thing we've heard from them was that the vow can only be properly performed while both lovers are indeed alive and breathing.

He immediately lunged at Hermione but she had already conjured a shield between the two, ceasing his actions. He could only helplessly watch as she roughly carved words into her skin with the edgy point of the blade, his heart shattering at the brutal vision. His beautiful 'Mione, his love, was doing this to herself. For him. Her beautiful slender figure, engulfed in cascading crimson rivulets of blood, she was screaming, screaming and crying… Kneeling on the ground. He tried to get through the shield, but it was just too powerful. It shoved him away each and every time as his body collided with the invisible, solid surface. He was raging at himself, internally screaming just as much as Hermione was physically. Hermione gave out and collapsed on the floor. It all happened in slow-motion. From caressing and dominating such a beautiful angel, to find the angel's limp body lying on the floor, covered in repulsive streams of blood, her hair damp and painted a strong crimson red, her expression blank and her eyes glazed over. Harry once again lunged at her, though this time there was no shield to stop him from doing so, much to Harry's horror. Harry's heart rate drastically increased and he stretched out a warm and gentle hand to feel for Hermione's pulse. He placed it on top of her breast carefully, not feeling anything. He gently lifted her arm to feel for her pulse through her wrist's veins. Nothing. Harry stopped breathing.

He glanced at her face longingly for any sign of movement. Her chocolate brown eyes were dull and lifeless. Her usual rosy cheeks were as pale as a ghost. He shifted his eyes so as to gaze at the stained spot beneath her breasts. Carved into it gruesomely were the words I vow that I do indeed love Harry James Potter

Harry's whole World began to spin. He felt like he needed to vomit, slapping his hand on his mouth. It was surely a nightmare, right? He punched himself in the face roughly, earning nothing but a cracked jaw. He couldn't feel any pain, however, didn't acknowledge it. His mind was in another place.

How could this happen to him? To Hermione? Why would she do this to herself? Because of him?

Harry extended his hand again and pressed it against her breast, above her heart. He then placed it on her lips under her nose and couldn't feel her breathing against it. Holding her hand, he snatched the bloody dagger with his other and lifted his sweater and shirt, carving the words onto his chest without any hesitation so as to prove that Hermione was alive. She wouldn't leave him. She wouldn't leave him the full on pressure of guilt and that hollow emptiness in his chest. Nothing cruel as such would be able to take his 'Mione away from him.

All he felt was numbness.

He was right all along. He didn't deserve Hermione… All his love did in the end was to hurt her. Her love for specifically him hurt her. He would rather have Hermione hate him and love another than to die because of him. Like every other that had previously died… He appreciated that pain much more than what was happening to him now.

Feeling Hermione's soft hand on his own, Harry plunged the dagger longing to be with his angel, into his shriveled heart, as deep as he could, crimson blood spattering across his flesh. He didn't care about the pain. He didn't feel anything. All he wanted was to be with her. His 'Mione, to forget about the cruelty of this World. The darkness and despair. His longing drove him to this path. He would see his parents, Sirius, Cedric, Remus, Tonks, everyone he'd failed with his love on numerous events.

Everything went black.

Lying on the cold stone floor of the Astronomy Tower, two broken and bloody figures, entwining hands.

And so the parasite would pass and cling onto the next hopeless person. Letting them drown in despair as they reached out to their love. Feeling the pain and agony engulfing them in darkness. Hopeless longings. A power most severe and brutal. Pain one could never be able to comprehend. This was the power of Pure Love's Curse.


End file.
